My biggest not my only but my life long insecurity has been my skin. As a child I wished that I did not have pail freckly skin. I wanted to have even tan skin that did not burn in the sun. As an adult I have still longed to have more golden even skin tone, but I realize my effort to tan are very good at proliferating the ageing process. So I am content to be pale if it will leave less wrinkles. My new issues with my skin have to do with blemishes and unwanted hair. Really it is an obsession that hinders the way I can live. I would never be able to live on a camping trip for more than a day, and I could never travel to an exotic place without my tweezers and makeup. I don't know why but in my adult life I have had the worst Acne. I mean my face is Armageddon in action. This past week has been particularly bad. I have blemishes that are on parts of my face that I did not even know could get a blemish. For example my eye lid. What the heck!!! It makes me want to hibernate in isolation so that nobody can see me. I have tried many things to heal my ailment. Face masks, cleansing products, no makeup, Zit cream, medications, Acutane (which when I took it my skin was beautiful, but I gained 30 lbs.), laser hair removal, waxing, etc.,etc. I mean it is my face. My billboard to the world saying "this is who I am." Or so I feel sometimes.
I guess a lot of us have some sort of physical insecurity.
My sweet husband has never seen me this way and actually thinks that I am perfect. claiming "I am the most beautiful women in the world." Sweet, but he is blind by love so I never trust his comment. He says that if my skin is not perfect it is because if it was, "[I] would be, too perfect to dwell on this earth." He is eluding to the story The Birthmark. Where a woman and her husband obsess over removing a birhtmark on her face and then find out that once the mark was removed she was, too perfect to live on this earth and had to be lifted up with the Angels where she belonged. OK, So I have a really sweet husband. It will be 7 years on February 7th. He helps me see the real beauty in things. Thank you Cameron life with you has been great.
3 comments:
I've had the same insecurity with acne all my life. But I can HONESTLY tell you, that your husband is right, you ARE exceptionally gorgeous. I have never noticed your skin! You AND your girls are adorable. I'm not a frequent commenter, but this time I had to comment: you are one of the most pretty and stylish women I know!
Boy, Cameron is sweet. But he's also right!! As for your skin and insecurities, you are crazy, girl!! You are beautiful and have beautiful skin.
Hey Addie! I'm so happy to see all of your updates and to catch up on where and how you are! Your girls are darling as ever and getting SO big! We'll have to meet up when I am back in town sometime! My mom lives in Chandler near Lindsay and Riggs.
K, SO weird you blogged about this right now! I'm finally going TOMORROW for my first ever visit to the dermatologist! I'm SO sick of the acne...I'll be 35 this month, for crying out loud! I feel your pain...the embarrassment and shame you feel. But I'm thinking that WE see it more than anyone else, because I think you are hands down one of the most beautiful women I've ever known!
My sister did acutane in college and has had great skin ever since. It didn't work like that for you? I'm interested in knowing because i'm ready to do something drastic to make it go away!
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